Most Lagosians have a Computer Village story; some funny and some horrible. They range from buying a phone and looking at the semo inside the box when you get home, to having someone shake your hand and find out that five minutes ago you lost your telephone. If you have a Computer Village horror story, you can relate these seven episodes:
You suddenly realize that your phone is gone
Maybe it’s your first time here, so you’re wondering why everyone is squealing at you, trying to get you to find the new gadget they’re selling. And you won’t know why this particular guy keeps following you anywhere even if you tell him. Eventually he leaves you alone, and after a few minutes, you realize your pocket is lighter.
At this point, your mind starts racing and running the double check. “Did I put my phone in my bag?” You check your bag, and it’s gone. Then, you know what happened – your phone is long gone.
You start with flashbacks
Your mind goes back to the man following you. “Is he? Did he touch my pocket? ” You decide that the only way to find out is to find him and ask questions.
You start looking for the thief
You retrace your steps to the place where you last saw this person, hoping to see them again. But if you can’t see them, you start asking around, trying to describe them to other people. Miraculously, you are pointed in a particular direction.
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You decide to face the man
When you get there, and you find the person you are looking for. You approach them and ask politely if they picked up your phone. You don’t know, it’s a cardinal sin. You don’t just ask a thief if they stole from you. They start yelling at you, with the familiar “who are you?”
You know that words alone cannot solve this issue
Like the Lagosian you are, you have decided that the best way to do this is to show some stupidity. Obviously that’s the only way they’ll listen to you, so you start shouting and throwing punches like Bash Ali’s protégé.
You were badly beaten
Unfortunately, you are not protected by Bash Ali. You’re so hurt and no one cares to listen to the reason why you screamed in the first place. You now realize what a bad idea it is and have decided to leave without your phone.
You realize that it wasn’t just your phone that was stolen
You arrive at the bus stop, but when you get on the bus home in pain and regret, you realize that your wallet is gone again.
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